| | Holy crap, i definitely have not packed.
I bought everything - nothing was stopping me being a consumer whore - but the putting the things in your room that you use every day into stacks and piles and boxes and getting ready to go is the really hard part.
Well, no, actually creating the time to even consider doing that is the hard part.
Every morning for about a week now when i wake up my body has resented its existence. I can't even convince myself to get out of bed before 12, or eat anything of real substance until maybe two, otherwise my incredibly tense stomach really does not like it, lets put it that way. My mind isn't all that worried, because i have a game plan and a roommate who i know will be a great friend, or at least foothold (we've already made plans to go see Wolf Parade when they come to lawrence at the end of august), but i know i must be in some serious denial if my body is killing itself over this.
There's a lot more to packing than i thought about. Like the fact that i have no warm clothes. Or tennis shoes. Or that i have to print out photos of my friends if i want to take picture frames. Or load my camera stuff onto my mac, and take all the warrent information and such in case i have to have it worked on. Or that i don't know how to fix anything on my car if it breaks down when i'm driving home by myself. Or what to do when i'm sick or going clothes shopping on my own - i've never bought clothes entirely by myself, just a couple things here and there and that's always been with friends at least. I've always considered myself to be well grounded and pretty self sufficient, i can do all the stereotypical stuff that collegebound teenagers supposedly don't know how to do (laundry, feed themself, clean, etc.), but i still feel like i'm totally lost on a lot of things, like i really haven't stood completely on my own, probably because i haven't been allowed to.
And i dunno, i'm worried about the friend scene a lot because i've done a fair amount of research on facebook into the general KU populous and the general KU populous is not quite what i want it to be. It scares me that there are very few people interested in the same things i am (at least music, movie, and book-wise). I've got myself fairly convinced that there will be people there for me to hang out with, at the very least my awesome roommate, but it still scares me to be faced with what looks like high school all over again.
In other news, the days leading up to me leaving have been absolutely beautiful. It's raining right now and my rooms all dark and messy and the light in my closet flickers and the music is right and the incense is right and the curtains are right and the week dead flowers and it's cool and perfect and beautiful, and now i know why my subconcious is waging a war against lawrence. |
| | Posted 8/7/2006 5:29 PM - 349 Views - 8 eProps - 4 comments
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