| | My best friend was first. We stood outside my house and she reminded me to call and to give her my new address. And then she hugged me, which was weird because there's always been an odd barrier between us that prevented any sort of physical contact except at extraordinary moments like this. And she cried and nothing could have been worse than standing there watching my best friend cry and being so shocked with everything that i couldn't do the same. Things didn't go as planned, but they never do.
After karaoke more of my friends left, and it felt so normal. They waved and slipped out of the room and it felt just like usual, like I'd run into them later that week. I paid the bill and we stood outside the karaoke place saying even more goodbyes as people finished writing in my notebook. And then they too got into their cars and left and nothing felt special or weird.
I left the Inwood Theater after the midnight movie and drove home alone tonight as usual and nothing was different about the road or the night or the other night drivers. And now I sit in my bedroom in the dark, and even though a couple posters are missing from the walls and an item or two has been packed away, it doesn't feel like the last evening I will spend here.
Everything just seems too surreal.
It will never be the same as it is now. In three months we'll be back together again but it won't be the same, we will only be half here, with half of each of us looking back over our shoulders at our new lives. And I didn't fully appreciate it, the time I had left. It only begins to set in when I realize that my friends will continue to live their lives here, without me. Their lives will go on as usual whilst I face the most utterly terrifying change of my life: I have to leave, and I have to go it alone.
And that brings me to the end, the end of life as I know it. And at all ends, a word of wisdom must be imparted: try to appreciate them as much as you can while you can, those last moments with your friends and with your normal life, because it's horrible to look back on those lasts and feel like you didn't appreciate what was ending.
Goodbye, everyone.
At the final moment, I cried,
I always cry at endings |
| | Posted 8/12/2006 3:48 AM - 359 Views - 12 eProps - 6 comments
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